pff... Dude needs a diary

Before you read this, I wanna apologize, cuz I kinda sound like Kanye's new album.  juuuusst endless bitching.  there ya go,  its in your hands now.

You know,  its true that things were always better in your memory than they were at the time.  likewise, things that you dream of, or look forward too, are rarely as sweet as you thought they were going to be.  Of course there are exceptions such as the new Q-tip album, which is as awesome as u'd expect.  but the vast majority of stuff blew, or will blow.  Like check me out, I live in the south of France.   u heard meh, The South of France.  La Sud du France.  Sounds cool huh.  I bet you wanna live here.  don't play, even I wanna live there, but thats the thing,  I DO live here, and like so many things, excluding lindor chocolate or disney land, its not as cool as most would have hoped.

example: remember how awesome that party was that time?  You know the one that was the bomb diggity and stands above all other partys that whole year?  well aren't you forgetting how hung over you were the next day, or how there was that annoying chick/dude bugging you all night, or where u had to sleep that night?

seems we only remember the dope parts and forget the wack parts.

I remember when I started playing this game so many years ago, I had so much fire; so much desire to reach the top, and not just the top of my team or country, I wanted the world.  I think I had a shot but it seemed the more success I had, the more I saw things for what they are, which is always different than what you expected; like meeting a movie star.

I don't know why I'm so gloomy lately.  might have to do with the losses in my family recently. Its tuff not being able to be with family,  more so in the hard times then the best times.  maybe its just that time of year, when the northern half of urff is all dead because of winter.  or maybe its just the trouble at the office.

(might be a good time to say that I know I'm blessed.  In the big picture, like world wide frame, I feel very thankful for what I have in my life)

U know I used to deliver pizza in Red Deer.  Honestly it was the sweetest job.  Late hours, but seriously,  driving around with pie's listening to music? pretty dope job.  I'm sure it wasn't as sweet as it is in my memory but what is?   

.... man I need a diary, I must sound like a huge knob.

Now I pose a question to you, and think about it hard, cuz there's going to be a quiz later.  Would you rather open a Record shop, or a Music studio?  Lets say a massive HMV / Virgin Mega store, or a basement studio professionally equipped.  If you think about it, there's so many reasons to want both.  the one that jumps at me, is do you want every hot track ever written and recorded, or do you wanna start fresh.

I like tracks that make me think about everything at once, or absolutely nothing.  like "Rising up" by The Roots.

Ok fine, one more question.  My Physiotherapist asked me this today:  I

f you could go holiday anywhere in the world, where would u go if money and time were not issues?  

Oddly enough the place that weighed heaviest for me was a house boat in BC in summer.  It wouldn't be too hard, cuz I fear the sun, and people would speak english, which is what I'm best at speaking...words,  and there would be water, but it wouldn't be salt water and make me wanna throw up after 15 mins.   how boutchew?

I'm gonna feel like such an idiot tomorrow for posting this for you to read.