Straight Plagiarism
So I do have some stuff i wanna tell yall about, but i just read the funniest interview ever. its the first ever interview conducted by one Sarain Soonias (my brosef) on one Jesse Soonias (my sisters offspring). The questions and flow of the interview remind me of the raw talent and promise shown on Snoops freshman record "Doggystyle". we can only hope there is more to come. ALAS, i will let yall know about what I'm doing in time, but for now, read this. if you know either my brother or my nephew, this aught to blow your socks off. indulge.
What tha bidness folks? I'm just marinating in the cut after a god awful practice that saw me get on some Ron Artest, self-destruction type shit. But its all good now. I'd like to take this opportunity to put you people on the game. This installment features my first stab at conducting an interview, abeit with my broke-ass newphew Jesse.Jesse is my sisters kid and he resides in in the Lancaster area of Red Deer, which basically makes him Central Alberta's answer to Young Joc reppin' College Park. He's doing big thangs in The Deer while maintaining that gangsta lean. The following is the first time I've ever tried to conduct an interview, and the first time he's ever answered a bunch of questions that haven't been part of a police statement. Hope ya'll enjoy. Holla at a pimp!!! Or just say hi in the hallway at school.
S: I had my first interview ready to be posted and it all got erased. i'm pissed.
J: Whaaaaat. That sucks man.
S: Yeah, I'm pissed. Can i interview you?
J: Probably yeah.
S: I'll need your undivided attention for like 25 minutes. You can’t do other shit.
J: Well gimme 4 minutes to do some shit then(Five minute later)
J: Okay I’m ready
S: Remember honest answers. Please state your full name and why the world should read this interview?
J: Jesse Scott Soonias. The World should read this interview because, we’ll c‘mon. Two great Soonias men in the same interview
S: Good point. Its a hood thang. Now the question everyone wants to know, do you have a tattoo and did you cry while you got it done?
J: Yes I do have a tattoo. Its my last name down my forearm. Its my first tattoo so i was anxious to get it, but i did not cry.
S: Agree to disagree. Now be completely honest, have you pulled one off in the last 24 hours?
J: Well yeah...hasn’t everybody?
S: I'm not emotionally comfortable answering that question. Imagine you are kidnapped, drugged and left to wake up onstage at American Idol auditions; you can pick any song to give it an honest try. What song do you sing?
J: Well right now i might sing something by Justin Timberlake hahaha. But I'd like to think i would pick something hardcore
S: Hardcore huh? Give our readers a song please.
J: Hmmm. Maybe Die, Die, Die My Darling.
S: By the Misfits?
J: Yeah
S: Great choice.
J: Thanks
S: What would be more rewarding for you: Getting on Avril Lavigne while Tenacious-D sings "Fuck her gently" at the foot of your bed, or, getting on Avril Lavigne while you sing "Fuck her gently".
J: I would have to say the last one. I love Tenacious D and Avril Lavigne, and both at the same time would be lovely
S: No doubt. Like peanut-butter and....ladies.
J: When in Rome.
S: I’m not familiar with that one
J: Okay, my bad. Go on.
S: You clearly have a substance abuse problem. Malt Liquor and a Disney Flick, or, Crystal Meth and a walk in the park?
J: Well Sarain its funny you ask that. Malt liquor and a Disney flick for sure.
S: Clearly we share more similarities than just our last name. Okay, lets try some word association. Just tell me what comes to mind.
J: Alright
S: Lil' John:
J: WHAT!!!
S: Long Island Emo-rock sensation's, Brand New:
J: So Hardcore
S: Dallas Soonias:
J: A little soft serve.
S: Borat:
J: Kazakstans equivalent to Sarain Soonias
S: Beyonce:
J: Whore. What’s next?
S: If you woke up tomorrow and your penis was gone, what would you have for breakfast to help ease the mental anguish?‘
J: Toast and Canadian Club
S: Thats the most Rock'n'Roll thing I've ever heard. What can a girl at the club do to impress you?
J: A girl could do anything. Buy me a drink. Boooyaaaa!!!! Even if she slapped me in the face. That would be awesome!!!
S: Incorrect, we were looking for "pour a drink on you and slap herself in the face"
J: Well I can and you are wrong.
S: I blame myself. What’s wrong with the NHL All-star game?
J: Nothing is wrong with the game itself. But that no talent ass-clown Dion Phaneuf should be shot.
S: I'll make sure he never reads this. Finish the sentence for me: I am thinking its a sign that....
J: Can you explain that for me?
S: Jesus christ. Finish the following sentence: "I am thinking its a sign that...."
J: I am thinking its a sign that we move on to the next question. Fuck.
posted by S.F. Soonias at 10:27 PM
What tha bidness folks? I'm just marinating in the cut after a god awful practice that saw me get on some Ron Artest, self-destruction type shit. But its all good now. I'd like to take this opportunity to put you people on the game. This installment features my first stab at conducting an interview, abeit with my broke-ass newphew Jesse.Jesse is my sisters kid and he resides in in the Lancaster area of Red Deer, which basically makes him Central Alberta's answer to Young Joc reppin' College Park. He's doing big thangs in The Deer while maintaining that gangsta lean. The following is the first time I've ever tried to conduct an interview, and the first time he's ever answered a bunch of questions that haven't been part of a police statement. Hope ya'll enjoy. Holla at a pimp!!! Or just say hi in the hallway at school.
S: I had my first interview ready to be posted and it all got erased. i'm pissed.
J: Whaaaaat. That sucks man.
S: Yeah, I'm pissed. Can i interview you?
J: Probably yeah.
S: I'll need your undivided attention for like 25 minutes. You can’t do other shit.
J: Well gimme 4 minutes to do some shit then(Five minute later)
J: Okay I’m ready
S: Remember honest answers. Please state your full name and why the world should read this interview?
J: Jesse Scott Soonias. The World should read this interview because, we’ll c‘mon. Two great Soonias men in the same interview
S: Good point. Its a hood thang. Now the question everyone wants to know, do you have a tattoo and did you cry while you got it done?
J: Yes I do have a tattoo. Its my last name down my forearm. Its my first tattoo so i was anxious to get it, but i did not cry.
S: Agree to disagree. Now be completely honest, have you pulled one off in the last 24 hours?
J: Well yeah...hasn’t everybody?
S: I'm not emotionally comfortable answering that question. Imagine you are kidnapped, drugged and left to wake up onstage at American Idol auditions; you can pick any song to give it an honest try. What song do you sing?
J: Well right now i might sing something by Justin Timberlake hahaha. But I'd like to think i would pick something hardcore
S: Hardcore huh? Give our readers a song please.
J: Hmmm. Maybe Die, Die, Die My Darling.
S: By the Misfits?
J: Yeah
S: Great choice.
J: Thanks
S: What would be more rewarding for you: Getting on Avril Lavigne while Tenacious-D sings "Fuck her gently" at the foot of your bed, or, getting on Avril Lavigne while you sing "Fuck her gently".
J: I would have to say the last one. I love Tenacious D and Avril Lavigne, and both at the same time would be lovely
S: No doubt. Like peanut-butter and....ladies.
J: When in Rome.
S: I’m not familiar with that one
J: Okay, my bad. Go on.
S: You clearly have a substance abuse problem. Malt Liquor and a Disney Flick, or, Crystal Meth and a walk in the park?
J: Well Sarain its funny you ask that. Malt liquor and a Disney flick for sure.
S: Clearly we share more similarities than just our last name. Okay, lets try some word association. Just tell me what comes to mind.
J: Alright
S: Lil' John:
J: WHAT!!!
S: Long Island Emo-rock sensation's, Brand New:
J: So Hardcore
S: Dallas Soonias:
J: A little soft serve.
S: Borat:
J: Kazakstans equivalent to Sarain Soonias
S: Beyonce:
J: Whore. What’s next?
S: If you woke up tomorrow and your penis was gone, what would you have for breakfast to help ease the mental anguish?‘
J: Toast and Canadian Club
S: Thats the most Rock'n'Roll thing I've ever heard. What can a girl at the club do to impress you?
J: A girl could do anything. Buy me a drink. Boooyaaaa!!!! Even if she slapped me in the face. That would be awesome!!!
S: Incorrect, we were looking for "pour a drink on you and slap herself in the face"
J: Well I can and you are wrong.
S: I blame myself. What’s wrong with the NHL All-star game?
J: Nothing is wrong with the game itself. But that no talent ass-clown Dion Phaneuf should be shot.
S: I'll make sure he never reads this. Finish the sentence for me: I am thinking its a sign that....
J: Can you explain that for me?
S: Jesus christ. Finish the following sentence: "I am thinking its a sign that...."
J: I am thinking its a sign that we move on to the next question. Fuck.
posted by S.F. Soonias at 10:27 PM
posted by Dallas @ 12:28 PM
2 Comments:
Hey Boooyyeeezzz:
Love that soul to soul bonding that jumps off the Net. More, More, more of the get real dialogue. A funny thing happened on my way to read the Blog. Heart to Heart, truth is the most perfect disguise. Love to hear the echo of young studs. Oh the pitter pitter patter of little tiny feet gona pitter pitter patter throught our family tree. Drop Uncle a line, I make no sense when slaved to technology.
Peace out!
Hey Boooyyeeezzz:
Love that soul to soul bonding that jumps off the Net. More, More, more of the get real dialogue. A funny thing happened on my way to read the Blog. Heart to Heart, truth is the most perfect disguise. Love to hear the echo of young studs. Oh the pitter pitter patter of little tiny feet gona pitter pitter patter throught our family tree. Drop Uncle a line, I make no sense when slaved to technology.
Peace out!
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