Interview with the vamp.... Sarain

The following is an interview conducted by Dallas Soonias on his brother Sarain Soonias. The purpose was to give readers an insight on Dallas family, and what they're all about.

Dallas: Alright you ready sucka? Sarain: I'm Wade in the clutch, lets do this! D: I'm not, give me 2 mins. i need water

(two mins later)

alright, before we get started tell us what sarain soonias is all about?

S: Bottom line, I just wanna dance.

D: yes, i've seen you cut mad rugs. with the soul of a young Sam Cook. What is your fav. Color?

S: Black

D: please, digress .

S: I"m not sure what digress means.

D: I'm probably saying it wrong. like... explain yourself.

S: About the colour?

D: ya man...

six mins pass with no response.

D: ok. lets just move on like this is going really well...

S:I dunno. I guess I just don't feel like I can identify with bright, happy colours very much. Black is just more comfortable for me i guess.

D: thats respect. Mines baby blue. Alright. check it, who your fav. rapper in Jurrasic 5?

S: The cat with the deep ass voice. Whats that brothers name? Tuna?

D: oh ya charli 2na. I'm big on him. so is my girlfriend; did you know he's on tour with Dan the automator right now?

S: Dan the Automator gets slept on like Nique in the '88 dunk contest

D: I agree, but most great producers don't get the credit they deserve. i think thats why they're producers and not rappers. they might like it that way. Next question: If you woke up tomorrow in poland, Whats the first 5 things you would do?

S: Ask you where I could get a good breakfast. Flush the toilet see if it flushes the opposite way as North America. Check out your theory about Polish women having big heads. Have some coffee and put on some clothes. Rock Star I'm not.

D: I see. What are you goals for 2009?

S: I'd like be writing for several major publications and being happy doing it. Also, in no particular order: Playing in a garage band with Tico, being able to say I dunked between my legs, being close with my family, and not having any kids. Also two chicks at once hahahha. Just kidding, but seriously....two chicks.

D: Props to Office Space. what plans have you made for your upcoming road trip with your brother and nefew; and what actions have you taken to ensure these plans come to fruition?

S: Trying not to spend all my busted-ass drug money in one spot, and cruising the mall parkinglot for Volkswagon vans with keys in the ignition. But Sarain Soonias is one man, its gonna take a group effort to get out of that trip alive.

D: ya you don't hear many crazy stories about one person road trips. have you heard the new roots album yet? your thoughts?

S: Nah I haven't heard that jam yet. I'm what you might call "out of touch" when it comes to any current music. But I watched an episode of Flava of Love a few weeks ago if that counts for anything.

D: yes it counts. except flav has not had a jam on the charts since the early ninties. but thats current enough for our purposes. what is a question you would like answered by the people of poland?

S:Do ya'll have Miami Vice on the cable?

D: where's the beef??? So why'd you play basketball over volleyball?

S: I actually really liked vollleyball at a young age but then I just started playing ball and loving my mans' Magic and Larry Bird. I dunno, I just always loved how I was able to express myself through playing the game.

D: ...Man there's like 10 people in poland who know who Magic and Larry Bird are.