...Like he got shot with a potato gun full of chicken nuggets

So its 143 am on a friday night. I gotta play tomorrow. Correction I have to play well tomorrow. whatever i'm still adjusting to europe time.

Like the responsible 24 hour athlete that I am, I went to sleep at a decent hour. But I kinda sparked awake a few minutes ago with a beat on my mind. You know the back beat to "I want you" by Common? yeah, yeah its nice. nice all night son. Foolish dudes and most girls dream of having a flock of doves and backing flood lights accompany them when they walk into rooms, but for me, I wish that Common track would play every time I made an entrance. you know, places like: a restaurant full of eligible women, important board meetings where the table is 40 meters long has 100 seats on each side (at which point upon entering the room I would proclaim "...ya I thought we were gonna try to get the big table in here for this...") , gymnasiums and the bathroom.

Even when I imagine that song is playing in my head when I roll into places, I just KNOW my aura is so ice cold that all the dudes look at me, then at the floor, and all the ladies pause from talking about last weeks bachelor episode, (for half a second which is a long time to keep these ladies from their chirping) and somewhere, Rick James is proud.

I'm gonna go ahead and give a shout out to my man Claffey. I remember outside of bacardi limon, this guy possessed the top two traits on the list of stuff that makes late teenage girls wanna be down for making life shattering mistakes.

1. abs. and not just 4 or 6. it looked like someone transplanted a 20 piece chicken nugget meal all up on his midsection. It looked like he was a superhero, and not like a superhero WITH abs, but an AB superhero. abs everywhere.

2. a scar. and not just some wack ass scar like a 3 cm glorified scratch on your forehead from when your dog pulled you out of your baby chair and you hit your head on the coffee table when you were 2....or whatever... but a solid lightning bolt like Zeus himself struck you down in battle but mercifully let you live to tell the story.

now the ill thing is his zeus lightning bolt scar was all up on his Spartan 300 abs. so that just takes things to a whole new level of making young women get wobbly in their hipster wayfares sun glasses or their equivalent to whatever they were wearing a few years back. so he went from ballin, to ballin squared.

whow jeez man. I just read all that over to myself. know what, I hope that was Claffey that had the scar and the abs otherwise this is just weird. and u know what, on that note, I think(and I hope) this is the longest time i've spent talking about some dudes abs, so to keep things from getting awkward real quick next time I see my man, I'll just cut things off right thur. man who knew a simple shout out could turn into a bromance so quickly. I imagine most of my readers are thinking, awesome, dude had abs, when is he gonna talk about volleyball.

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