ONE HUNDRED!!!!!!...and two

HORRAY!!! so we've done it kids. we've reached it! 100 posts. centennial mo foooo's. I had a parade and fireworks planned but as it turns out, this is number 102. yall missed it!! no one tells me these things. you know how hard it is to take back 50 kg of cambodian fireworks to the back of a cadilac down by the old train station without a reciept? shoot. anyways, here's an interview with some short chick.

Dallas
ok. Hey Kar Kar, How's your it going?
karen
hi Dal-pal, its going well thanks, how are you?
Dallas says:
wicked, my shiz is toe up these days. so what's it like seeing the world from 5foot 9 inches off the ground.
Karen
I'm not sure! maybe you should ask someone who is 5"9
Dallas says:
i see your still living in that little dream world where your taller than everyone, and the streets are paved with chocolate and caramel sauce. so what would you say has been the most important thing you've learned in college as of yet?
Karen
i learned how to underhand serve in Larry's coaching volleyball class
Dallas says:
its good to hear Canadian athletes are doing big things. how would you say Larry is on a personal level; is he approachable? because I've heard its a bit like talking to a cactus.
(much love to Larry. Great guy, yet scary coach)
karen hahahaha
he is very approachable, very awkward and smiles for like 30 seconds staring at you without saying a word, but all in all a nice man
Dallas says:
yes I agree, he once stared at me for 5 mins, whist I was in another room. I could feel his stare on me. SO what's it like fighting for playing time on a team with 30 girls?
karen
its competitive, umm, you gotta work hard all the time and make each other better
Dallas says:
sounds boring. but seriously. how'd you eye's get to be that color?
Karen
it is boring… and grey? I dno... they used to be all nice and blue. there blue when i cry, but grey all the other times.
Dallas says:
oh i see. are you a crier?
karen
nooo
Dallas says:
good. so what is your fav. 3 movies ever?
karen
umm
1. donnie darko
2. garden state
3. the holiday
lame and boring, but simple truth man
Dallas says:
cuz they make you cry?
karen
noo
i do cry in the holiday but,
Dallas says:
..... its all coming together. and do you have any pets?
karen
i have a weiner dog, her name is maggie
Dallas says:
tell me about her.
karen
she is small, and she wiggles alot. she also barks too much, but when shes not, she is too cute for her own good and makes me smile alot alot.
Dallas says:
I see, soo has she ever done something so cute that it made you get all smiling and shed a single tear?
Karen
i slammed her in a door my accident, so i cried cuz i felt so bad
Dallas says:
well then, not only have you lied about not crying all the time, you've also made it clear your looking to commit weinercide. this interview is over.
karen
aaaaah.

YOU DON"T KNOW ME!!

you know some days like today, I wish there were more hours in a day. but there is not. and I should be sleeping. yet i'm up, yacking at yall.

Will someone explain judging to me? I don't think I fully understand when I'm not supposed to be doing it. also when is it ok to judge? how is it even done. jeepers.

Lets take for example, a conversation I had but a few nights ago whist waiting in a friends car. A conversation I'm sure everyone has had in one light or another. In the words of the great Dougie fresh, "and it goes alittle something like thiiiiis".

Me. Hey can I see your cd's?

Whomever. Sure they're on the dash there.

Me. ....spice girls hey. mm hummm. ahh yes, nickelback......

Whomever. Hey don't judge me!!

Me. pfffshh, sit your 5 dollar ass down before I decide to make change....

(ok maybe the last part didn't happen)

NOW, what the crap are they talking about. What did I just do, and why do they want me to stop it? From what I gather, I looked at their cd collection, and I guess I JUUUDGED their choice in music.... or something?? Now I'm unclear on how that comes off as a negative, because I hear all the time how "your shouldn't judge people". Well isn't that life? Isn't that how detectives make their living? they JUDGE what they think has happened by reviewing the evidence.... I'm certain it would hold up in court if the Detective said,

"ahh yes your honor, we found the defendant with the full discography of Ace of Base on his person. And from this we have concluded him to be a massive homo."

so again I ask, how else are we supposed to get to know people. Maybe its sexist but I hear more women saying it than men. But isn't it the women who are wanting to be judged; preferably as attractive? If a woman is wearing Clothing that society has deemed provocative, is she not looking for men to judge what is put before them, and take the hint that she's available?

What I've been told is you shouldn't judge someone; ever! you should speak to them first, them make your........ uhh....... judgment? Sounds like a catch 22. I can't speak to a persons CD collection, I can only listen to the disc's, and recognise what a load of garbage they are.

So for all yall who's music collection I have disturbed, please understand, next time I'm looking through your Ipod looking like I just drank milk that has possibly reached its "best before date", know its not you i'm judging, just the piece of garb tracks that have found their way into your library.

Its ALL OVER.......soon

Yo I got BOOKS of hooks.

Is anybody else worried? or is just me freaking out. I'm now fully convinced without a shadow of a doubt!!, that the world ends in 2012.

I'm on this plane yesterday expecting a relaxing flight back to the dubya so I can go back to work. but what do I get you ask? I'll tell you... u know the tiny tv's in the head rests that slowly poison us with radiation right? I flip it on hoping for meaningless flashes of sports that i'll forget by the time I deboard but will get me through the flight. But what I get is a 1 hour Sunday special on how we're all gonna die in 5 years. I knew I shoulda left the tv on sports center.

Turns out there's some funny bidness going on with the planets magnetic polls. greeeaaaaat. and some Mayan cousins to the south decided to make this calender and have it END on the same date these scientists think the earth is gonna aline with some black hole. wicked. and I think the oracles at Delphi predicted it too.

So I'm sitting in my cramped ass airplane chair trying to convince myself that its alllll good. I mean, since the beginning of people, dudes have been predicting the end will come in like 3-5 years, and every single time, they've been wrong without fail. i mean, otherwise we wouldn't be here. BUT, the kicker was, as I was starting to steady my head I looked at the man in the seat next to me, and whats he up too you ask? oh I'll tell you. Duew is reading a book called 2012......... now how creeeeepy is that. turn out he was reading what I was watching for the last hour. he seemed to laugh it off, which I did as well. u know, in keeping with social norms I didn't want to startle anyone on the plane, when in fact I wanted to grab him by the neck and start spitscreaming in his face something along the lines of "ITS OVER MAAANNNU. YOUR OLD YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOUR GONNA DO, I'M YOUNG, I AIN'T DONE SHIT!!" in retrospect, he could just as easily been exploding inside like i was.

so I guess that's it. 5 years. enjoy! go do what you think you should get done, so like climb the pyramids, or swim in dead sea, or do that load of dark's that's sitting beside the machine. whatever you see fit. I'm probably gonna go rob a music store. anybody want a new set of drums? I can get that for ya lickedy split.

enjoy your time more.

PAOK Serve

So I figured this is something everyone should see. its a great display of concentration is a unique situation. Jeff the Libero, regardless of whats going on around him how ever ridiculous the situation might be, keeps his eye's on the prize and what his job is; pass the ball. Free lesson for the kids.


oh ya, Alex bombs one off the opposite backboard

Saturday October the whateverith

Before reading further, yall should know I have NOthing to report that is interesting.

Chuya. check out my saturday,

I lost my Van, wait correction. My van died. In the middle of a southern manitoba highway at like 7 am. I was headed down south to do a little refing for the kids. giving back to the community u know. I'm a generous guy like that... as long as they pay me. but back to the point, my high preformance vehicle has met its maker. WEAK. turns out my "tranny is shat". But i'm getting ahead of myself.

after the initial ten mins of head scratching, pondering weather or not to act or fall asleep in the back, I hichhike in to the nearest town which happens to be Morris; halfway from the Dubya, halfway from Winkler, which was my original final destination. so i stick the ol thumb out and I shit you not, the Second car that comes by picks me up. talk about friendly manitoba. Turns out these three dudes are on their way to their Church Fundraiser. How are they raising funds you ask? only in the most logical manner:

"we're killing 20,000 chickens"

"... what this morning?"

"well it will take all day"

"mmmm hummm, This is fine here, OK SWEET NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS, DONT WORRY ABOUT ME, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!"

So thats what THEY where up to on saturday. I made my way down to the local co-op which was the only open establishment at that hour. after leafing through the entire Morris county phone book, which is all of like 4 pages, I called all 3 towing dudes. one had gone out of bidness and moved to the big city, one was down working on the fire trucks at the station till about 5 pm, and the last guy simply didn't feel like it. Weak. I'm sure he could feel the dispare in my voice as I explained my perdicament, so he offered me one final hope for rescue.

"hmmm, well have you called Dave?"

what is this guy talking about, like I know Dave from Morris manitoba.

".....ahhhh nope haven't called Dave yet."

"well give him a call first then call me back."

He then proceeded to tell me four numbers to which i was unsure as what to do with. he then explained that the first three digits are the same in all Morris numbers. Of course, I should have known that. I probably did, but it was early, and i hadn't had my coffee.... even tho I don't drink coffee. maybe if i did drink coffee I'd have gotten it. why am i talking about coffee, lemme tell you about Dave.

Now Dave. oh man. Dave is a character. I swear Dave is the lost brother of Dog the bounty hunter. Turns out Dave is not only the proud owner of a tow truck, he's also the proprietor of a local auto wreaking yard, furniture mover, Car booster, and to nobodies surprise, a DJ.

Dave was up till 3 am the night before rocking the crowd at the local watering hole while they hammered quarters in the VLTs. He also needed his Coffee, so after an hour of waiting he showed up down the road from where I had called him.

After a few short stops in town to grab gas and smokes, DJ Dave and I made it to the van. Dave says:

"what are gonna do with this unit, yur tranny is shat"

"you know I'm not sure, I figure a transmission will cost more than the van itself."

As you might imagine, Ol Dave has a way with words, and me being in no position or mood to barter, agree to straight GIVE him the Van for $100 and a case of beer. weak.

So after a quick trip over to his friend fat Tony's farm to open the van because some idiot locked the keys inside...... we drove back to Winnipeg.

I swear we didn't go over 60km the whole way. and this was in his car, not the tow truck. Dave is a SERIOUS chain smoker. weeeeak.

few hours later we get to my pad, I sign it over to him so we can make it legal, and he says:

"GREAT, by the way, the ride into town would have probably cost ya $100, and I don't actually have any cash on my to getcha that case of beer......."

"......ok Dave."

So in the spirit of love thy fellow man and all that nonsense, I give Dave a team Canada shirt and a pack of smokes I had purchased as a gift for a friend, and we parted ways.

all that before 1 pm. So now I'm car less. weak.