Straight Plagiarism

So I do have some stuff i wanna tell yall about, but i just read the funniest interview ever. its the first ever interview conducted by one Sarain Soonias (my brosef) on one Jesse Soonias (my sisters offspring). The questions and flow of the interview remind me of the raw talent and promise shown on Snoops freshman record "Doggystyle". we can only hope there is more to come. ALAS, i will let yall know about what I'm doing in time, but for now, read this. if you know either my brother or my nephew, this aught to blow your socks off. indulge.


What tha bidness folks? I'm just marinating in the cut after a god awful practice that saw me get on some Ron Artest, self-destruction type shit. But its all good now. I'd like to take this opportunity to put you people on the game. This installment features my first stab at conducting an interview, abeit with my broke-ass newphew Jesse.Jesse is my sisters kid and he resides in in the Lancaster area of Red Deer, which basically makes him Central Alberta's answer to Young Joc reppin' College Park. He's doing big thangs in The Deer while maintaining that gangsta lean. The following is the first time I've ever tried to conduct an interview, and the first time he's ever answered a bunch of questions that haven't been part of a police statement. Hope ya'll enjoy. Holla at a pimp!!! Or just say hi in the hallway at school.

S: I had my first interview ready to be posted and it all got erased. i'm pissed.

J: Whaaaaat. That sucks man.

S: Yeah, I'm pissed. Can i interview you?

J: Probably yeah.

S: I'll need your undivided attention for like 25 minutes. You can’t do other shit.

J: Well gimme 4 minutes to do some shit then(Five minute later)

J: Okay I’m ready

S: Remember honest answers. Please state your full name and why the world should read this interview?

J: Jesse Scott Soonias. The World should read this interview because, we’ll c‘mon. Two great Soonias men in the same interview

S: Good point. Its a hood thang. Now the question everyone wants to know, do you have a tattoo and did you cry while you got it done?

J: Yes I do have a tattoo. Its my last name down my forearm. Its my first tattoo so i was anxious to get it, but i did not cry.

S: Agree to disagree. Now be completely honest, have you pulled one off in the last 24 hours?

J: Well yeah...hasn’t everybody?

S: I'm not emotionally comfortable answering that question. Imagine you are kidnapped, drugged and left to wake up onstage at American Idol auditions; you can pick any song to give it an honest try. What song do you sing?

J: Well right now i might sing something by Justin Timberlake hahaha. But I'd like to think i would pick something hardcore

S: Hardcore huh? Give our readers a song please.

J: Hmmm. Maybe Die, Die, Die My Darling.

S: By the Misfits?

J: Yeah

S: Great choice.

J: Thanks

S: What would be more rewarding for you: Getting on Avril Lavigne while Tenacious-D sings "Fuck her gently" at the foot of your bed, or, getting on Avril Lavigne while you sing "Fuck her gently".

J: I would have to say the last one. I love Tenacious D and Avril Lavigne, and both at the same time would be lovely

S: No doubt. Like peanut-butter and....ladies.

J: When in Rome.

S: I’m not familiar with that one

J: Okay, my bad. Go on.

S: You clearly have a substance abuse problem. Malt Liquor and a Disney Flick, or, Crystal Meth and a walk in the park?

J: Well Sarain its funny you ask that. Malt liquor and a Disney flick for sure.

S: Clearly we share more similarities than just our last name. Okay, lets try some word association. Just tell me what comes to mind.

J: Alright

S: Lil' John:

J: WHAT!!!

S: Long Island Emo-rock sensation's, Brand New:

J: So Hardcore

S: Dallas Soonias:

J: A little soft serve.

S: Borat:

J: Kazakstans equivalent to Sarain Soonias

S: Beyonce:

J: Whore. What’s next?

S: If you woke up tomorrow and your penis was gone, what would you have for breakfast to help ease the mental anguish?‘

J: Toast and Canadian Club

S: Thats the most Rock'n'Roll thing I've ever heard. What can a girl at the club do to impress you?

J: A girl could do anything. Buy me a drink. Boooyaaaa!!!! Even if she slapped me in the face. That would be awesome!!!

S: Incorrect, we were looking for "pour a drink on you and slap herself in the face"

J: Well I can and you are wrong.

S: I blame myself. What’s wrong with the NHL All-star game?

J: Nothing is wrong with the game itself. But that no talent ass-clown Dion Phaneuf should be shot.

S: I'll make sure he never reads this. Finish the sentence for me: I am thinking its a sign that....

J: Can you explain that for me?

S: Jesus christ. Finish the following sentence: "I am thinking its a sign that...."

J: I am thinking its a sign that we move on to the next question. Fuck.

posted by S.F. Soonias at 10:27 PM

Love from within the ranks

The following is straight up thief'd from Sarain Soonias' blog. its funny, much love in the fam.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Big Shout-Out to Jordan ToppingsYo, I cant even front like I have anything interesting to say. Basically the only worthwhile thing I got done today was finishing a pizza to myself and knocking down jumper after jumper on the hapless starters in quarter court hahahahha. Jokes, I had like two pieces left but who doesn't love cold pizza for breakfast.Thats gangsta, and speaking of gansta shit make sure to peep my partner in rythmes upcoming internet based project. Ya, I said it co-founder and international man of ballin' outta control, Jord McFarlen is rumoured to be starting his own blog page. Tackling issues like the increasing financial illiteracy among highschool students, and reasons why G Unit is wacker than a muthafucka, Jordy Jihad will no doubt push the limits of free speech and good taste.On a serious note, those of you who know me on a friendly basis will no doubt have met my brother one way or another. His name is Dallas Soonias and that cat is stranded in the middle of Poland playing pro-volleyball and pushing rythmes like weight!!!! Yeaa-e-yeaaa!!!! But seriously, he's stuck in broke ass Poland (sorry lisa but he's in a broke ass part of Poland). By the sounds of it they are not exactly doing big thangs record wise which is no doubt doing wonders for his emotional and psychological state of mind. I mean, what would YOU do if you were stuck in busted ass Poland playing volleyball alongside a bumch of polish brothers who don't understand you and just got Miami Vice on cable like a week ago? What would you do?Truth be told I have no idea how I would deal with that situation besides having a break down and storming the Canadian embassy, looking for a plane ticket home. And maybe you'd have a meltdown too, and thats okay. But for his sake lets just hope he copes with having a rough season in a foreign country as well as he can. In fact, why don't we all send him a few positive lines in an email? Maybe a "Hey, heard your in fucking Poland. Thats too bad. Good luck with the season", or maybe, "Hope Poland doesn't get invaded by Germany again because you'd probably get shot. Best of luck with Volleyball." People, I employ you to do the right thing and offer a few lines of moral strength for you friend, my brother, our favourite giant volleyball playing indian.Well wishes can be sent to native92@hotmail.com or feel free to respond to his videoblog at http://whatshappeningtodallas.blogspot.com/ (shit is mad funny and culturally enlightening). I would take it as a very kind gesture and I'm sure he woulnd't mind it either. Remember people, Po-Land.
posted by S.F. Soonias at 10:46 PM

seba told me to ride, so i'ma ride

Yo, if yall speak polish, i'm sorry if Seba used a bad word...... ...... ..... NAAT! but for real, i dunno what he's saying.

no title needed

thats not even me, thats Sax, a few months ago. he wears green knee pads...


somehow I got a homeless dude living across the hall from me. isn't that a paradox? homeless dude.... in... an apartment. but for real, every now and then he'll greet me all drunk to high heaven, in our dark wooden stairwell... in his underwear. my man in drunk allllot. smokes like a fish too.

I'd write more but that's all i wanted to say. haha. so deal with it ya punk bitches!! leave a comment, cuz i know on avg. 300 people look at this junky site a day, so SAY HI for Sam Hill. i gotta know my audience so i can cater to yall.





I'm going to some town in Poland tomorrow to play a volleyball game. cuz that's my job. kinda dope hey! alright, its 2 am, and i should be sleeping, but i wanted to show my dedication to yall.



p.s./shameless plug, go check out my brothers blog. www.loveandbasketballwiththes.blogspot.com

don't hate the player, hate the indian. its what the man has been doing for 500 years. shoot, why'd i have to bring that up. doesn't even have anything to do with this post. screw this i'm leaving.

One Step from Mental BreakDown/Spoilled North American

i think its crazy how Tupac and Biggie were down, let alone KNEW each other when they were young. that's like Jordan and Bird growing up together. I know you know, but how weird is that?

Top five dream jobs:

Owner of mom and pop Record shop ran the way I want to run it. With all the records I want to sell to people, with the stupid posters I want on the walls, and the crappy music I want to listen to during the day.

Pro DJ. Travel the world playing music I like. Playing it the way I want it to be played. Playing the music I want people to hear. Dancing and making people dance, sharing a personal intimate smile from across a massive club.

Writer, as you can see I can't write worth shit. Any kind really. Movies, novels etc. Sit around with a pen or a lappy or whatever. Write what I want, when I feel like I have something to say and Booya, people read it and find it life changing.

Pro Athlete… wait a min.
Any sport in which you are paid enough not to have another job. Soccer in England, volleyball in Italy, handball in Germany, swimming in Australia, Baseball in U.S. and A.

Pro Sport League Commissionaire.
Someday yall will bow to the crazy rules I implement in the Canadian Volleyball league.

someones got a case of the mmmunndays

sorry its been a while. I really have nothing to report other than we lost again. we're 1-5. I'm running out of money cuz these cats haven't paid me yet, so i might have to fly back to Canada for a few days to fix some paper work.

well, I'm bad at volleyball again. anyone else suck at their job? it can be frustrating. its one thing to suck at what you do but still love doing it, but to be unsuccessful and not enjoy it, this is a problem for both employer and employee.

Now i know what your thinking, quit complaining Dallas your getting paid to play volleyball. yes this is true, but i don't know for how long if i keep playing this way. this is one of the problems with volleyball, or any pro sport for that matter, when you suck, you get replaced, there is always some Russian or Serbian or dude from WHATEVER country waiting for you to be terminated and take your place.

You know what be cool, opening a record shop, like a mom and pop operation. I'd take an HMV job any day, but having one of your own, like Kusak in High Fidelity; That would be the bomb diggity. I'm sure there's someone out there who works at a record shop thinking, man i'd love to play a sport for a living. strange how that works. to bad me and this unnamed anonymous person couldn't change lives for a week, just so we can both appreciate our personal situations more.

Anyways, at least I can still play. at least I'm healthy.. for the most part. i have a bit of a strained ab. trying to take care of that, don't want a hernia or whatever.

Anyone out there own a record shop, and is looking to hire a volleyball player with little to no direction about anything other than his family and music? maybe i'm in the wrong line of work.

I have so much music, other than food, it is by far what i have spent the most money on over the course of my life. man, the answers are always right in front of us, why is it to rare that we do what we know we should do, who are we trying to please. man I must sound like i'm trying to be deep here, but i'm only smart enough to get into the kiddie pool. well i'm gonna go to work.

old glory

if anyone knows anything about this, or speaks french or something, please let me know. i'm pretty sure this is from back in the day. any info, please.

YOU DON"T KNOW ME!?

So i've had some complaints from some of you broke ass fools who arn't paying my bills about some smack like, my posts lack something you fruity types call "pazzaz". I say its poppycock, but i'm bound by the laws of supply and demand, so heres a clip from hawaii a few years back. sills was alittle... under the weather from the night before... plus he'd never been on a escilator before... did i spell that right?

if you speak polish check this out. http://www.siatka.org/?kibic.aktualnosci.wszystkie.13966 . if you don't speak polish, click on the video under this. it needs no words.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THIS IS THAT SMOKE THAT GONE GET YOU HIIIIIGH!! this is my man tree in florida. its him dropping one on the entire state of Ohio in one simple swing of his arm. i have no idea how high this gym is, nore does it matter; the ball hit floor then the roof durring a game.

well it's happened again. i have zero to talk about. cept i'm the worst rightside in the polish league. boo hey. but i'ma fix that right quick. man the people at this cafe just gave me crap cuz i ran to my car and left my laptop here. apparently everything gets stolen. like always. i was told that the national sport of Poland is stealing cars. damn sucka!

Us vs Them

sup yall!

Its D in Polski, we just played again, and you guessed it, we lost again. that puts us at 1-4. not the greatest start ever. i'm not to worried. we've been playing progressively better everygame, so what more can we ask for?

anyways, this here video was made by my man Keith. He played ball back in the 80's when they used that goofy looking white ball and you could toss the ball twice for serves. man the game has changed. so he knows what its about. anyways its a promo for the Team Canada World League games this summer. I don't know were he found the time to make it. and infact i'm sure its completely unauthorized! but that doesn't mean nothing. All of the Team Canada team members deeply appriciate any effort to support our game in anyway. so nuff love and respect to keith.

Canada vs Brazil Promo
Uploaded by ksmack

homeboy, i came to party

WELL! its sure been a while. i've been without the internet for coming on a month now. turns out i'm SUPER addicted to communication. So i'm in Radom Poland. its like an hour south of Warsaw. its like.... regina. everyone hates it. whatever, i don't really mind. there's not much to do, but i was expecting worse. I drive a Peugeot 307 which I love. who'da thunk i'd love anything having to do with the french?? My appartment is on the third floor of a building that has been around since before the great war... like the first one. its old. but the appartment itself is nice. other than the old man across the hall, who has a habit of running into me with no pants on. he doesn't speak english, i don't speak polish, and he is ALWAYS drunk. I live across the town park from a sweet resturant where I go every night. the food is amazing in poland, and so healthy. i was expecting crappy food, but its all been great. oh i'm getting paid to play now, thats crazy, i forget that sometimes. like this is my job now. thats pretty sweet. anyways, My team site is www.ksjadar.pl so check it out if your board. its all in polish, so have fun. anyways, believe me, I miss all of you. nuff love and respect.

POLSKI

Yo its been forever... my bad. click on the ad you knobs!!